Unsexy Keys to Achieving Your Goals

This might strike some as over-sharing, or just another person sharing their mental health struggles, but today I will take that risk. In the age of AI, personal stories are the only way I can show you I am a human.

Not every moment can be fun and fireworks. Sometimes you just have to trudge through the dull stuff to get to what you want.

At 30 years old, I was diagnosed with ADHD, and after getting therapy and medication, doing some workbooks and CBT, I unlocked the ability to actually do boring tasks without the threat of life-altering consequences hanging over my head for the first time. Before this, I was ruled by impulse and excitement, at least on some level, and the threat of failure on the other level.

Every project or goal I completed was done only by frantic, high-effort labor, followed by a collapse. I was the queen of getting it done at all costs, but whoo, boy, those costs! Sleep, friendship, grades, jobs, all compromised, lost, or not executed as well as I knew they should be. I was frustrated by the amount of work I would have to put in just to tread water, and the only way I could really fulfill my potential was by pursuing my hyperfixations and novelty and hoping my interest wouldn't peter out at an inconvenient time. As you can imagine, it did not work well, and I am as surprised at anyone that I managed to get to 30 without anyone figuring this out.

And so I want to write briefly about the beauty of the boring, the delights of the unsexy, the bliss of the "old hat," especially when it comes to meeting your goals. My new unlocked ability (thanks, modern psychiatry!) also unlocked all of that "wasted potential" I had spent so many years hearing about, because I was finally able to just sit down and do a task, even when I didn't really want to at that exact moment.

There are many ways to go about achieving goals, but with almost any fitness goal, your long-term success will be driven by some unsexy realities.

1. The boring stuff matters. Sleep, food, showing up for your non-preferred workouts. This stuff makes an outsized difference. It isn't really fun. It's definitely not easy (Why is sleep so hard??) or exciting. But it makes a huge difference. When you sleep at the same time each night, and wake up at the same time each morning, it may be a little hard on your social life (though if your friends don't understand and pressure you, even after you explain your goals and needs, they may not be that good as friends) or mean you have to make more of an effort to manage your schedule, but you will most likely find that feeling your best, thinking clearly, and having energy are well worth the cost. Likewise, if is more fun and exciting to eat out, to make that fun dessert you saw online, or to go out for drinks every night, but the boring work of meal planning and putting serious thought into your nutritional needs will be the only reliable way of achieving your goals.

2. Consistency over time matters more than in-the-moment effort. I see this all the time as a trainer. Someone comes in, ready to kill the workout with their bare teeth. They put in the work! They sweat! And then they become one of the most difficult clients to schedule, one of the least consistent. You don't have to "kill" every workout. You just have to show up a few times a week. You don't have to eat perfectly at every meal. You just have to follow a thoughtful plan most of the time. Going hard sometimes is great, but it's more important that you manage your energy well enough to show up again and again, not that you give 110% in the workout.

3. No amount of gear, special workouts, planning, or new apps will replace just doing the workouts. I love a new gadget or doo-dad as much as the next person, and if you want to use things like this as rewards for consistency, I think it is a great idea! But if you really want to see results, you have to buckle down and just do the work. Your muscles don't care if you are in cute leggings or the newest sneaker. The best laid plans and apps will do you no good if you don't actually show up for them.

4. Workouts need to be a little repetitive and maybe boring for you to see progress. Sometimes people hire a trainer because they expect it will result in intense, dynamic workouts, different every time! So exciting! The truth is that for most goals, I will have you doing a few of the same workouts for weeks on end. I will have you digging into basic movements with a granular attention to detail. I will often choose the least complex movements because that is what is going to get you the engagement and form you need to make progress. If you want to get stronger, you need to do the same movement again and again (and again!) to build up strength in it.

5. Tracking is boring, but will get you where you need to go. I find one of the biggest obstacles for people is a failure to track. They set vague goals, and then get discouraged when they are not making progress. Tracking may be boring, but it makes is so much easier to see your progress! Many clients will see an increase in strength or visible body recomposition best by seeing it in hard evidence. After six months, you may start to "feel stronger," but if you track, if you measure, if you take photos or videos, you will see results much faster because you don't have to rely on your unreliable memory for encouragement. You will see it right there! You started squatting with two 15lb. dumbbells, but now you are squatting with a barbell! Progress! You haven't seen much change on the scale, but you took your measurements, and you've actually lost two inches! Progress! Tracking isn't fun. But it makes it easier to stay motivated and understand the slow pace of progression better than just hoping for the best.

There you have it! Some of the biggest truths I have uncovered as a trainer, and frankly, as a human being. Many of these "unsexy" truths carry over into other realms of life. It isn't just fitness that benefits from consistency, tracking, and being a little bored. Your friends, family, and romantic partner need you to show up, to keep track of their needs, to do the boring work that makes life easier and shows you care. Your financial goals will only be met if you do the work each day to build your income or reduce your spending. Your mental goals will progress faster from 15 minutes of study each day than a three hour crash session, and following a plan will get you to learning faster.

Have you also struggled with the "boring" parts of life? What helps you keep things fresh and exciting, even when it is the same old thing? How has merely showing up consistently changed your life?

As a final note, I just want to say that if you find yourself struggling to show up in your life this way, it may be time to find a therapist, psychiatrist, or doctor who will take your struggles seriously. You should be able to meet your goals! It may be that there is something bigger holding you back.

However, if it is just a lack of knowledge about exercise, good form, and nutrition, or a need for accountability, support, and external motivation, come talk to me! I love supporting people, and helping them find a way to make boring workouts something you look forward to.